Alone

td-solitude4

If you were wondering why you haven’t seen any blogs from me lately it’s because I’ve been on a 2 week leadership course run by Caleb Ministries.  Caleb takes a holistic approach to leadership covering areas such as relational skills, communication skills, decision-making skills as well as management skills.  But interjected into all of that is a weekend away at a camp where you take a big look at your own life.  And I mean a BIG look. Where have I been?  Where am I now?  Where am I heading?  What are my core beliefs and how do these beliefs affect my values and behaviours?

Wow.  I needed time to think on all of that.

The course was structured in such a way where we could do just that.  On Saturday night we were given a message on the Lordship of Christ which was followed by an extended time of worship together.  It was wonderful.  It wasn’t rushed, forced, controlled or programmed. They simply had a couple of musicians leading with guitars and a flute and we could sit, stand, kneel, or even lie on the floor if we wanted.  No one was looking and no one cared.  It was an opportunity to open ourselves up to the Lord and meet with him.  And we did.

The next morning we were told to go and do business with God for 24 hours – alone.  No phone, no internet, and no talking with anyone.  For some people, that was a death sentence.  For others (myself including), it was a gift.  I have been needing this but never took the time.  Now I had it.

I was 6 hours into my time of solitude and feeling pretty good about my progress. I had completed my personal mission statement, written out my 7 year letter (a picture of my life 7 years into the future), listed my dreams for myself, my wife and my family and mapped out my 5 and 10 year goals.  It was time to put my running shoes on and go and blow out a few cobwebs.  Walking back up the road to the camp I stopped at a field, leaned on the fence and gazed on God’s creation and drank in all the sights and smells.  Life felt good.

It was then time to take a shower.  As I felt the hot water cleanse my skin, with all these things going through my mind, the Lord began to reveal some deeper things that were going on under the surface –  some of the real longings of my heart. And they all related to people:

  1. My two sons, who I am not really close with
  2. A close friend and mentor who I had fallen out with
  3. My ½ brother John

It was a defining point for me.  I realized my business with the Lord had just begun.  I went back to my room, pulled out a clean sheet of paper and started again.

There were so many things that have benefited me on this course.  But it was that time of solitude – where I could be with God alone, where the world stopped spinning, the phone stopped ringing, my heart and soul had time to rest, and the Lord could reveal some of the deep things on my heart.

For those 24 hours on their own, it was worth it all.

 

 

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One thought on “Alone

  1. Pingback: Caleb Course Reflections « Feeling God's Pleasure

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