Warning Lights for Highly Vulnerable Leaders (part 3)

Over the past couple of weeks, we have considered a number of warning signs that our spiritual life might not be as healthy as what we thought.  These came to my attention while at a pastor’s retreat some weeks back led by Rowland Forman.  So far we have covered six of them: pride, prayerlessness, oversensitivity, joylessness, fatigue and disillusionment.  Today we cover the last three – insensitivity, immorality and impatience.

WARNING LIGHT #7: INSENSITIVITY

Are you neglecting those that are closest to you?  Rowland writes:

“Thankfully, after attending a parenting seminar, early in our ministry life, my wife Elaine and I adopted a value that we come back to often: “No amount of success in God’s service is worth failure at home.”  We apply that to our marriage and to our family.  I’m aware that ‘success’ at home base is all of God’s grace, but we do need to take 1 Timothy 3:4-5 seriously.  How can we manage God’s household if we are making a mess of our own?”

The question posed to us was:

  • What would your spouse say if someone asked how you are navigating ministry and family?

Well, I decided to ask Francelle this.  Her answer was, “Do you want the honest truth?” (I always struggle with that question).  She did, and I don’t have to repeat that here.  The point is, this is an area I need to constantly guard.  When things are going smoothly at home, there is the potential to neglect quality time with my wife and my children.  Then there is a small crisis, the pendulum swings, and I over-compensate – for a week or two.  Then I fall back into my old habits.

This is the prayer I wrote after contemplating these things:

“Lord Jesus, I know I neglect those closest to me – my wife, my daughters and my sons.  I think this is due to my working too hard (question to myself – for what? What’s driving that?).  Or it may be due to selfishness and lack of real care.  Please work in me a deep, caring love for my family Lord, for your glory and their joy.” 

WARNING LIGHT #8: IMMORALITY

Are you spying greener grass?  Rowland writes:

“Have you been taking liberties – becoming more intimate with members of the opposite sex?  Like King David, have you begun to feel indestructible?  It’s as if everything was on the rise for David up to the affair with Bathsheba in 2 Samuel Chapter 11, and everything was on the decline after that.  Joy disappeared from his life (Psalm 51:12), fatigue became the norm (Psalm 32:4), and his family disintegrated (2 Samuel 12-24).”

Just this past week I was alerted to another incident with a high-profile Christian leader: Ravi Zacharias.  If you are unaware of the detail you can read his statement that he wrote for his lawsuit here: www.rzim.org/global-blog/ravi-zacharias-statement-on-my-federal-lawsuit/

Going on everything I have read, and especially this statement from him, I believe he has being truthful.  This was an innocent exchange (on Ravi’s end) of correspondence in order to help someone that he thought was genuine.  It all came back on his head.  This was a very close call for him.  It could have ended his ministry.

I wrote to my elders asking them to read the report and to pray for Sean (our Youth Pastor) and myself, as well as our whole staff team.  I asked them to pray that Sean and I would be vigilant and wise and careful whenever we correspond to, or meet with women – especially outside of our church family.

The world’s a minefield for this kind of thing.  Pornography, sensuality, sexual exploitation of women and children, immorality and unfaithfulness and the list goes on.  Pastors and Christian workers are not exempt.  In fact, if anything, they are MORE vulnerable.  They are direct targets for the enemy, who seeks nothing more than their total spiritual ruin and disqualification from ministry.  If you are a pastor like me, you need to be extra vigilant.  You need to have people who will get in your face and ask you the hard questions.  And if you are married, you need a jealous wife (the more suspicious, the better).

The question asked of us was:

  • How are you doing in the crucial area of purity of mind and body?

Here was my prayer:

“Lord, thank you for alerting me once again to this danger.  I know how easy it is for me to become lax in this area, thinking that as long I am the Word and in prayer each day, and I’m not looking at lewd or sensual images, I’m all-OK.  Lord, how foolish I am to think that.  Lord, the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9).  I cannot trust it.  How quickly I can rationalize some foolish action – “it’s fine to meet with so-and-so alone; nothing will happen” or “there’s only a couple of sexually explicit scenes in this movie; the rest is OK.”  Lord Jesus, help to guard what I do, what I watch, what I read and where I go.  Keep me close to my wife, so that I will cherish her and love her and remain faithful to her to the end of my days.”

WARNING LIGHT #9: IMPATIENCE

Rowland shared with us the story in Numbers chapter 20, where God instructed Moses to take his staff, gather the assembly of Israel, and speak to the rock.  He did the first two and then he lost it.  He struck the rock and spoke roughly to it.  He didn’t obey God’s instruction, nor did he trust him with the outcome.

Rowland writes:

“Are you patient with your people?  Are you tired of trying to do the right things, of applying church growth, then church health principles and then apparently failing? Craig Brian Larson in Pastoral Grit tells of one-step-forward, three-steps-back experiences in several small churches he pastored.  Then he says, “I must have patience.  I cannot be intimidated by the expectations of others but must have a sense of security about who God has made me.  And I must have faith in God’s Word despite what I see now.  In short, I must follow in the steps of Abraham.”

The question we then had to contemplate was:

  • To what extent are you impatient with people and progress in ministry?

Well this one really hit home.  I am, by nature, a very impatient person who rushes from one thing to another.  I have a hard time staying with God’s timetable, which typically operates a lot slower pace than my own.

Here’s my prayer in response:

“Lord Jesus, you know how impatient I can be with you and with your people.  I want things to happen in my time, not your time.  I am often unwilling to wait on you and let you build your church your way and in your timing.  Forgive my impatience Lord.  Expose every sinful frustration and annoyance and every ounce of resentment.  Cause me to love your people the way they are, and not what I want them to be. Amen.”

CONCLUSION

If you were the sole driver in a car and saw warning lights come on the dashboard but took no notice, that would be very sad.  But if you were a pilot of a 777, responsible for hundreds of people, or an air traffic controller accountable for thousands of passengers as well as flight crews, and you ignored flashing lights, the result would be catastrophic.

Keep a record of these warning lights somewhere.  Tuck them in the flyleaf of your bible or put them somewhere where you can quickly retrieve them.  They may one day save your life.  Really.

(You can read Part 1 of this series here and Part 2 here)

 

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